Before I began writing my script I decided to do a cut-down version of my original score reflection film. I ideally wanted to make my new version five minutes long. I did this so I could get a finer idea as to what were the key elements that made up the original story. I took the advice from Adam Elliott, a motion animator, who had recently made a short film, originally intended to be made into a feature production. Once he decided on a short film he found it a whole lot harder to write. If you’re writing a feature film it’s very easy to write more of an extensive description of every character in the background and the environment. For a short film, you can only include the important elements that makes up the story.
So upon cutting down the reflection film, elements I decided to take out were the critiques I had from my test screening, such as the repetitive jokes which were thought to be adding screen time.
I cut down a lot of additional information and only included dialogue describing what autism is, the main focus in the story. A few jokes were kept in because they were mainly examples of what autistic people can get confused with, to help to educate somebody who might not be fully aware of what autism is.
Another additional seen that was cut-out was a brief sequence with the main character befriending a transgender character. This seen was mainly cut-out because I felt like that it made the autistic characters seem more sociable than in real life. The addition of a transgender character may have taken focus away from  the main storyline.

In the last cut sequence, I consulted with my mate, who was present at the test screening. He enjoyed the sequence as it gave the main character a break and gave him a friend to discuss with. He advised that maybe I should retain the scene in some form, focussing on the main character finally gaining a new friend. I was enthusiastic about the idea, as I didn’t want to end the storyline on a low note. I wanted to make it somewhat up-lifting. Originally the story would’ve ended like the original with the main character finding a nice quiet area to calm down. However by having the main character befriend a person it could possibly make the video far more hopeful than originally intended.
My favourite kind of endings from films is where the final destination is different to the one which the main character anticipated. Their final destination isn’t one that’s upsetting, but potentially satisfying, leaving it to be hopeful and positive. For example, it’s a wonderful life as the main character in that one never ends up for-filling his dreams, but he instead finds happiness in a place he didn't expect.
Therefore I always tried to maintain a positive ending for any of my films I create, hopeful and satisfactory.
The ending of this film eventuates with the main character finding a friendship that will offer some hope for families who have a loved one with autism or another kind of disability.
For the rest of the story I wanted to focus on a relationship between the main lead and the teachers, considering an issue that not too many people know about. Sadly, one form of bullying that still goes on is between the teachers and students. In my time at school the people that should’ve offered me a safe haven didn't. The teachers assumed that I was a "troubled kid", up to no good. If I was upset or crying they would mainly think I was doing it to gain attention. I’ve spoken to loads of other people with autism and they had similar problems at school with the teachers not granting them enough support. There are even parents with disabled children stating on how they’ve spoken to certain teachers, and found they actively avoid working with their children. In my experience, other teachers don’t fully comprehend or understand autistic or disabled children, and have zero idea as to how to deal with them.

So whilst writing the new script for the story, one of the aspects I’ve left out the most, was the characters relationship with the other pupils. I felt like there was enough material to focus on an entirely different story around that subject. I had the mind set of this short film being five minutes long, therefore this additional material I decided to cut out for the script writing. I wanted to establish the main character as a victim, to allow the audience to recognise his relationship with all of the other students. This way we can get straight into the action of the story. A character that was brought back from the original film was Mrs Sugar, a favourite rival from the original. I decided Mrs sugar  would be good to bring back for the remake, Mrs Sugar was actually based upon a real Learning Support teacher I had back at school. A lot of the story I was thinking of trying to reflect upon real life accounts I had with her. I didn’t want to make a complete re-enactment of what happened to me at school. I still want to offer some cartoony flair into it but keep it in a realistic situation where it could be believable. I decided to create a typical situation of what could perhaps go on every day between the autistic lad and Mrs Sugar. I decided to do it from the point of view of the autistic lad who experiences overwhelming sensory overload. This scenario shows the importance of having support from someone who understands autism and the issues it presents.
The inspiration for the Mrs Sugar sequence came from the Mary and Max film, where Max, an autistic person, confronts a stressful situation. Events build up to him having a panic attack, where he is unable to stop shaking and sweating. By using a stressful situation, it will build tension for the audience. The majority of the story is narrated to have certain sections with the narrator silent, so the action speaks for itself.  

I was considering keeping the narrator silent through-out and letting the scene speak for itself. I though of the idea of a follow-up story where my main character bumps into a new friend, based on someone I've met through my own personal experiences. The ending I am contemplating involves the Autistic character finishing in a calm place like a nature reserve and meeting someone there.